Ep. 88: Girl in the Garage (With Sharon Hughes)

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https://itunes.apple.com/ca/podcast/kindsight-101/id1412489005?mt=2

Sharon and I discuss how to overcome perfectionism, how to set realistic goals, how to overcome the tough stuff in your life, and how to support those going through difficult challenges.
Hope you enjoy!

What you believe about yourself dictates everything about your life; your success level, your perceived failures, and your quality of life.

Are you struggling with perfectionism, people pleasing, and believing you’re not enough? Do you feel like a failure despite your successes? Do you have a video playing over and over in your head of something that broke your heart? Are you living in shame of your shortcomings? Are you stuck in unhealthy relationships?

Do any of these sound familiar?

WHAT IF YOU COULD…

  • Let go of the past, so that you can heal and move forward?
  • Accept your uniqueness, so that you feel more confident?
  • Learn to make decisions based on your core values, so that you trust yourself?
  • Set healthy boundaries, so that you have relationships that feel good?
  • Forgive yourself for your past mistakes, so that you can love yourself?

HOW WE’LL WORK TOGETHER & COURSE DETAILS

 

In this 8 week course I’ll personally walk you through each step. This is a live, private coaching program.

  • Week 1 – We identify what’s got you stuck. We “clean out” your purse from the junk you’ve been holding onto. (the lies)
  • Week 2 – You decide who you’ll be when you let go of the past and create a new vision for yourself.
  • Week 3 – We talk about your thoughts, triggers and managing your emotions.
  • Week 4 – Define your values and deal breakers.
  • Week 5 – How to create confidence and feel good in your skin
  • Week 6 – How to practice self grace
  • Week 7 – We focus on your purpose and unique gifts
  • Week 8 – We put it all together and choose what you want in your purse!From the desk of Sharon Hughes’ :

“I understand first hand how hard it is to break unhealthy mindset patterns and to believe you deserve more.

I suffered through years of silence, hiding the shame of what I’d been through, until I realized I didn’t have to believe the lies anymore and that I deserved to be free, happy and loved.

Identity coaching is about helping you uncover what you believe about yourself and taking steps to stay in truth, while letting go of lies.

Some of the things I went through are; an abusive past that included physical/emotional abuse, abandonment, homelessness, parental abduction and date rape. Yeah, it’s a lot…but I made it through these dark times and so can you.”

I’m a certified Life Coach and certified in Critical Incident Stress Debriefing/Management.

You don’t have to struggle anymore, there’s help and there’s hope.

 

The 4 Tendencies (Gretchen Rubin)

https---blogs-images.forbes.com-naginaabdullah-files-2017-09-FourTendenciesJacketBasedGraph-1Ever wonder why some people are really good at following through when they’re trying to nail down a new health habit or when they endeavour to quit a harmful vice?

Gretchen Rubin, author of the 4 Tendencies explains that we all fall into one of the 4 personality tendencies and that these tendencies have remarkable implications on the way we live our lives. We learn that there are pros and drawbacks to every tendency and that, if we’re smart, we can harness the strengths in order to live our best life. Not only can we impact our own lives positively, but having a working knowledge of the framework can help us navigate the various personalities in our lives from our bosses, to our children, to our spouses, to our adversaries, and to various stakeholders in our lives.

Here’s a brief breakdown of the tendencies according to Gretchen Rubin:

Rubins-Four-Tendencies

Here is a test that’ll help you identify your tendency

Here are some helpful ways you can reframe the way you approach expectations based on your tendency:

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How does knowing your tendency change the way you interact with others?

Feel free to share with others!

#kindsight101 #smallactbigimpact #podcast #education

The Asynchronous Power of Batching

 

2B992540-84A6-4CE7-8896-7BAF85B417D6People who create, write, study, paint, illustrate, or teach need to give themselves permission to use the systems that exist to create space for themselves, so they’re not held captive by the hustle, grind, and burnout culture of more, more, more.
The asynchronous power of batching (using chunks of time to do a bunch of creative work without interruption with the purpose of slow-release over time) has made it possible for me to do what I love (in a slow drip way, without the urgency) and maintain the other important connections in my life without burning out.

In the work that you do, is there any way that you can chunk or clump your time to maximize the feeling of downtime?

I like to have different compartments allocated to different chunks of time.

For example, I might sketch out 3-4 days per month to focus exclusively on my podcast, online content, blogging, and writing. On the days that I’m working or having downtime with my kids, I can allocate 100% of my energy toward that, knowing that I’ll have specified time designated to the side-hustle in my life.

How to Execute:

  1. Identify the different priorities in your work. home, and personal passion aspects of your life.
  2. Look at your monthly calendar, weekly scheduler, and daytimer to determine and plan which chunks of time will be allocated to which priority.
  3. Follow-through. Each day, look at your priorities and give yourself a clear breakdown of how you want your day to go. I promise that your motivation and overall productivity will go way up!

#inspiration #journey #happyquotes#kindsight101 #smallactbigimpact#creative #teach #teachersofinstagram

Leadership Pitfalls: The Recognition Gap

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Good leadership can be easy to spot, but deconstructing it can be so challenging. Over the course of the past year or so, through the interviews I’ve done with truly remarkable world-class educators and leaders, I’ve learned that so much of great leadership comes from trust and the deep, intentional practice of gratitude. Nothing makes you feel smaller than a leader who doesn’t see you. When you feel insignificant, or at least your efforts do, nothing is less motivating. In fact, it’s been proven that an ambivalent leader can be as damaging to his/her employees as an outwardly ineffective leader who puts his/her employees down.

I recently learned about the recognition gap, which applies as much to organizational leaders as bosses and managers, as it does to teachers in the classroom or parents in homes.

It turns out that 80% of supervisors claim that they frequently demonstrate outward appreciation for their subordinates, while only 20% of employees report that their supervisors express appreciation more than occasionally.

So, knowing that there is a gap in perception, it’s important that leaders, teachers, and parents find meaningful ways to see and appreciate the people they serve so that these individuals feel motivated, valued, and believe that their work matters.

Here are a handful of easy ways to do this at work:

-Start a Shout-Out Board to encourage employees to recognize one another’s efforts.

-Every day, focus on one employee or student and celebrate something about them in person or in writing.

-When someone goes above and beyond for the organization (picture that student who volunteers to stack chairs at the end of the day, your child who cleans her room without prompting, or the employee who contributes meaningfully at a faculty meeting), go out of your way to show them you see and appreciate their efforts.

-Call someone and tell them specifically what they mean to you.

-Write a quick post-it for 3-5 staff members or students every day specifically thanking them for the way they contribute to the climate in your class or school.

These little things don’t seem like a huge effort on your part, but they sure go a long way in building trust, rapport, and positive morale.

Favourite Mantras for the Classroom

I was inspired to create this post after hearing an episode of Barbara Gruener’s Corner on Character  podcast episodes.

One of her guests talked about the power of mantras in helping to form a positive and encouraging classroom culture. I loved the idea. While I have strong values, I haven’t always articulated these into classroom mantras so that kids could hear how much I love, appreciate them, and how we can train our brains to overcome the tough stuff- the dips in life.

So, here are a few of my favourite mantras for the classroom. I hope you’ll share some of your own with me, too!

  • I am surrounded by greatness!
  • I am full of gratitude!
  • Don’t give up, don’t give in, there’s always an answer to everything.
  • There are no mistakes in art!
  • I loved you before you even showed up.
  • Listen to your heart; it will never let you down.
  • Kindness is better than getting your own way.
  • Fail gloriously!
  • Judge less, love more.
  • Do it and forget it.
  • It’s not what you do, it’s what you don’t do that counts.
  • You write the ending to your story.
  • There’s always something to be grateful for.
  • Start each day with a grateful heart.
  • If you can say it, you can write it.
  • You can do this!
  • I believe in you!
  • I am so proud of you!

What are some of your favourite mantras?

E 66 – Choose to Rise (With Janelle Morrison)

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https://itunes.apple.com/ca/podcast/kindsight-101/id1412489005?mt=2We all have those moments, real life crashes that provide us with an opportunity to choose fear or choose to rise above the adversity and find a way to move forward. What does it take to be a real hero?

How can we learn to rise above our circumstances, teaching our students to do the same, while balancing an attitude of self-compassion and patience?

In this episode, I talk with Janelle Morrison, an ultra marathoner and educator who beat the odds recovering and racing again 2 years after a devastating crash landed her in the ICU in a coma with a broken bones throughout her body.

You’ll hear the surprising thing she learned about self-compassion and what it takes to be a true hero.

We talk perfectionism, heartbreak, and overcoming adversity and how we can help our students to become their best selves while holding onto a sense of unconditional acceptance of themselves no matter their situation. You can learn more about Janelle on janellemorrison.com.

Also, take some time to view the film documenting her recovery and journey.

Hope you enjoy.

– You’ll learn how to rebuild after a crash.
– Some practical ways that we can choose to rise.
– You’ll learn advice for setting powerful goals that strike a balance between being audacious, healthy and realistic.
– We talk about the power of hope and fear in propelling us forward.
-We talk about the three essential questions everyone needs to ask themselves during a crisis of identity.
-We explore the secret to stopping your own limiting thoughts and behaviour in order to realign yourself with your goals and vision.

The Power to Choose.

#choosetorise
[1]: http://www.janellemorrison.com
[2]: http://www.janellemorrison.com/documentary-film/

 

Shame vs. Humiliation vs. Guilt vs. Embarrassment (Brené Brown)

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Have you ever wondered what the difference between shame, guilt, humiliation, and embarrassment are?  Often we use these words interchangeably, but Dr. Brené Brown has so beautifully described the difference between the 4 terms:

  • Shame is “I am bad”  Shame is a focus on self. Imagine you’ve worked really hard to prepare a presentation with a coworker for an important staff meeting. One of your responsibilities was to prepare the powerpoint. You forget to save the file onto your computer and, as a result, your coworker is disappointed. If you feel shame, your immediate thought pattern is that you’re a bad person. “I’m the worst co-planner ever. I am such a loser for forgetting that powerpoint.”
  • Guilt = “I did something bad”  Guilt is a focus on behavior. If your self talk is : “ahh. I can’t believe I did that.  That was such a crappy thing to do,  I made such a poor choice not to back up my work!”  That’s guilt.

Our self-talk really matters and often frames the way we move through our relationships. Shame is highly correlated to aggression, addiction, depression, suicide, bullying, eating disorders, whereas guilt- the ability to separate who we are from our actions-without degrading our worth.

Guilt is inversely correlated to these same outcomes.  So, it’s much better for our mental health to focus on behaviour, even when we’re speaking in jest about ourselves.

  • Humiliation. With humiliation results in the same physiological response as shame except that you don’t believe you deserve the treatment:  sweaty palms, wish that the ground would swallow you up, wanting to make yourself small, nervous laughter… Dr. Brené Brown uses a school example:

A teacher is handing back papers and one of the students doesn’t have their name on the paper and the teacher calls the kid stupid:  If that child’s self-talk is “that is the meanest, most nasty teacher ever, I didn’t’ deserve that” What that child is likely experiencing is humiliation. As a parent or caregiver- I’m going to hear about that when the kid gets home- because they’re going to be angry and hurt and want to share it.  If the child’s self talk is immediately “ ugh. She’s right, I’m so stupid, why do keep forgetting to put my name on my paper, I’m so stupid,”  Thats shame.”

  • Embarrassment-it isn’t rooted in shame, is often funny and fleeting, and it doesn’t make you feel alone (it’s usually some universal human experience). Just think of that time that you put your sweater on backward and the tag was sticking out for the better part of an afternoon lunch with friends. Once you realize your mistake, it could leave you a little red-faced, but you know deep down that it’s human and that other people have done the same.

Shame is not funny.

Shame leaves one feeling alone and isolated.

E 64 – The Keys to Resilience (With Dr. Jacqueline McAdam)

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https://itunes.apple.com/ca/podcast/kindsight-101/id1412489005?mt=2

How do we become resilient?

Why is it that people who have endured generations of hardship, famine, and war (in places like Kenya, Nairobi, and Rwanda) are more psychologically resilient than many individuals living in the developed world?

Join me as we uncover the secrets of resilience during this special conversation with Dr. Jacqueline McAdam.

Dr. McAdam is the founder of Resilient Generations, a social enterprise based in Canada with a specific focus on Africa which seeks to help unemployed youth in Africa, increase the diversification of the employment market for youth, and increase trade from Africa.

Dr. McAdam is a professor, coach, speaker in the area of developing resilience.

In this conversation, you’ll learn the three keys to resilient people as well as simple ways to build your resilience and that of your students.

You can find more information about Dr. McAdam and her work at Resilient Generations.

We also discuss:

– The difference between hope and despair
– Luck vs preparation
– How to foster psychological safety for our students
– The surprising nature of choice
– Resilience in the context of protective factors vs. risk factors
– The three P’s of resilience (Martin Seligman)
– Roots of Empathy
– The power of gratitude

Prepare to come away inspired!
https://resilientgenerations.ca/

 

 

Three Steps to Resilience

The Three Keys to Resilience

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Photo by Yugal Srivastava on Pexels.com

I’ve often wondered what the difference is between those who are able to bounce forward from adversity versus those who get bogged down by their challenges. I recently stumbled upon the work of Martin Seligman, the “grandfather” of positive psychology. He states that there are three keys to resilience (that can be taught) that contribute to a more positive outlook on life.

  1. Personalization “It’s all my fault” – Someone who encounters difficult times may tell themselves the story that they are to blame for the hardships they endure. Resilient individuals tend to recognize that challenges are part of life and not their fault. Do you often find that you blame yourself for the hard knocks? What if you depersonalized your struggle?
  2. Permanence “I will always feel this way. Things will never change”- Despair is the belief that things will always be the way they are. Hope is the belief that there will be a better tomorrow. When you believe that your circumstances can change, you develop a more resilient mindset. Tell yourself: “This is temporary. This will not last forever. I can get through this tough period.”
  3. Pervasiveness “Bad luck always happens to me” – Pervasiveness in the context of resilience is the belief that bad luck will permeate every corner of your life and that you are predestined to be a victim to it. What if you challenged the notion that challenges permeate every aspect of your existence by seeking out the good. Gratitude practice is a great way to counter the negative effects of adversity. What’s good right now?

 

Power of Moments

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What makes for a powerful, memorable moment, in school or otherwise? Naturally, we all seek to be memorable. Nobody dreams of living an unremarkable life. We all want to be special to somebody. Some of us seek accolades from the masses, while others seek to be important to just a select few. That’s part of what makes us all so unique. We can all agree that there are magic moments that permeate our lives, but the tricky thing is creating magic, memorable moments for those we seek to serve. How do we make ourselves and the experiences we offer those around us, remarkable enough to make an indelible mark on our souls?

I recently read the incredible book The Power of Moments by Chip and Dan Heath, which outlined an easy-to-follow framework for creating remarkable memories.

Here’s the framework:

E: Elevate – Rise above the every day

Rise above the every day by marking transitions in special ways (100th day of school, 50th book read), building peaks, sensory appeal, raising the stake, and creating an element of surprise for the people you seek to serve.

P: Pride – Build in a sense of buy-in and pride

Celebrate those who have worked hard to achieve their goals! Help them to see their growth. Help them to develop affiliations with you and your tribe. The #1 reasons people leave their jobs is a lack of recognition. Break tasks into small and measurable goals…celebrate every milestone. Always be appreciating and noticing people…but know whether they want the recognition to be quiet or public (that’s important to note, especially with kids). The tribe’s win is everybody’s win!

I: Insight – Help people to learn about themselves in a supportive environment 

We tend to want to protect people from risk, but discomfort is where growth lies.

High standards + Assurance + Direction + Support = Insight

C: Connection

When we share our positive and negative moments together, lifting one another up and celebrating one another’s successes, it solidifies the bonds we have in a group. We feel tied to one another on a neuro-chemical level.

 

How might you apply these four pillars to create powerful moments for those you serve?