Ep 72- Solving Challenging Behaviour (with Dr. Ross Greene)

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If you are an educator, school administrator, parent, camp counsellor, or employer, chances are you’ve had experience with challenging behaviours.

So often, we focus on crisis-management and behaviour-modification to attempt to make challenging behaviours “go away,” but as we know, sticker charts and reward systems do little to encourage intrinsic motivation and, furthermore, do not address the underlying problems that cause the problematic behaviours.

I sat down with Dr. Ross Greene this summer to discuss his Collaborative and Proactive Solutions model in order to learn how we can solve some of the most challenging school behaviours.

Here are some things we discuss:

  • The Four Main Philosophies that guide Collaborative Proactive Solutions:
  1. Kids do well if they can.
  2. Your explanation guides your intervention.
  3. Be responsible to the hand you’ve been dealt.
  4. Challenging behaviours occur when certain demands and expectations exceed a kid’s ability to respond adaptively to their environment. It’s a method of communication.
  • The Three Main “Umbrella” Lagging Skills
  1. Flexibility/ Adaptability
  2. Frustration Tolerance
  3. Problem Solving
  • Inclusion through the lens of teaching lagging skills and taking an empathic approach to adapting to problems integrating 100% of the time within the classroom for 100% of tasks
  • The Most Important Skill for an educator to lead with
  • A Step-by-Step Framework to Implement CPS  
    1. Empathy Step: Information gathering from the student- “What is hard for you about___? How does that make it hard for you to ____?”
    2. Define Adult Concerns: Explain and articulate adult expectations
    3. Invitation: Collaboration on a solution (having the student come up with some possible solutions to the problem and coming to a realistic, mutually satisfactory solution. “I wonder if there is something we can do about ____ do that you can ____? Do you have any ideas?”
  • A Real World Example of CPS in Action: Dr. Greene takes us through a step-by-step example of the process
  • Dr. Ross Greene answers 2 audience questions related to: 
    • Teen peer pressure
    • School-Family Partnerships
  • Dr. Ross Greene’s book recommendation: Sara Laurence Lightfoot‘s The Essential Conversation

Dr. Ross W. Greene is the author of Raising Human Beings, Lost and Found, Lost at School, and The Explosive Child. Dr. Greene was on the faculty at Harvard Medical School for over twenty years, and is now founding director of the nonprofit organization Lives in the Balance (LivesintheBalance.org), through which he disseminates the model of care—now called Collaborative & Proactive Solutions—described in his books. Dr. Greene’s research has been funded by the US Department of Education, the National Institute on Drug Abuse, the Stanley Medical Research Institute, and the Maine Juvenile Justice Advisory Group. He speaks widely throughout the world.

“We cannot solve problems with the same thinking that created them.”
Albert Einstein


Lives in the Balance
 is the non-profit organization founded by child psychologist Dr. Ross Greene, originator of the empirically supported Collaborative & Proactive Solutions (CPS) approach and New York Times bestselling author of the influential books The Explosive Child, Lost at SchoolLost & Found, and Raising Human Beings. 

Their vision is to foster collaboration and empathy, transform lives, and inspire change for all children (especially the most vulnerable), to heighten awareness of the detrimental and counterproductive effects of punitive interventions, and to address the systemic issues that impede our progress.

The mission of Lives in the Balance is to provide vital, accessible resources and programs to caregivers of behaviorally challenging kids; to bring the plight of these kids into the public consciousness; to address the systemic issues that cause many of these kids to slip through the cracks; and to promote parenting and disciplinary practices that foster the better side of human nature in all children. Their efforts are organized around the following initiatives:

Open Access: Through their Outreach initiatives — which include their website, their radio programs and Facebook groups, and their annual Summit — we ensure that parents, educators, mental health clinicians, and staff in restrictive therapeutic facilities have easy access to vast resources on the CPS model at little or no cost.

Lead the Change: Through their Advocacy efforts, they heighten awareness of the obsolete, counterproductive ways in which many behaviorally challenging kids are still treated; take action whenever we learn of schools and facilities that are treating kids — behaviorally challenging or not — in ways that are punitive, adversarial, and counterproductive; and provide consultation and training on non-punitive, non-adversarial, collaborative, proactive alternatives.

Fix The System: Through their proof-of-concept project — Invest in Maine’s At-Risk Kids (i-MARK) — we’re showing how a public-private partnership can eliminate many of the systemic issues that make it hard for at-risk kids and their families to access and receive the help they need. Once we’ve shown what can be done in one state, we’ll export the model to other states, provinces, and countries.

Lives in the Balance is a registered 501(c)(3) non-profit organization and your gift may qualify as a charitable deduction for federal income tax purposes. Our programs are funded by Dr. Greene and other philanthropic individuals and organizations. If you’re interested in supporting their vision and mission, please contact them by phone or by using the contact form on their website.

Ep. 71 Three Steps to Self-Compassion (With Lisa Baylis)

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https://itunes.apple.com/ca/podcast/kindsight-101/id1412489005?mt=2

We talk about self-care non-stop these days, but certainly, there has to be more to it than bubble baths and pedicures.

In this episode, Lisa and I explore the three research-based components to self-care, the importance of getting intentional with your thoughts, and we complete the episode with the most delicious 6 minute mediation! Everyone needs this episode! #kindsight 101 #smallactbigimpact #podcast

Lisa Baylis has been sharing wellbeing strategies for the last 20 years. A natural born connector with an innate ability to make people feel valued and heard, she is an instructor, a counsellor, a facilitator, and a mother. Lisa is also the creator of the AWE Method — Awakening the Wellbeing for Educators — which merges self-care, mindfulness, and self-compassion.
Lisa has a master’s degree in Counselling Psychology and a bachelor’s degree in Physical Education. She has taught internationally and locally. Much of her vast teaching experience was gained in classrooms across British Columbia — from Fort St. John to the Comox Valley. Currently, she is a high school counsellor in Victoria and a point person for positive education and mindfulness within the Greater Victoria School District.
Trained by mindful self-compassion pioneers Chris Germer and Kristin Neff, Lisa is also a trained Mindful Self-Compassion teacher. She teaches an eight-week MSC curriculum in Victoria, while also running one-day AWE retreats. No matter the setting — classroom, counselling session, or teacher development — Lisa incorporates concepts of positive psychology, self-compassion, and mindfulness.
Check out her blog for ideas on how to incorporate aspects of mindfulness, and positive education into your classroom and the new curriculum.
Lisa is happy to connect! Feel free to contact her here.

While mindfulness is a component of self-care and compassion, there is more to the picture (3 elements)

Quite often when we hear the words self-care, we think of pedicures, massages, and time away with friends. We talk about examples of what self-compassion might look like and how we know when we’re filled up.

When we’re beating up on ourselves-we explore some of the ways that we can lean into self-compassion to help us.

We explore looking at ourselves through that exterior lens which enables us to be compassionate with ourselves. There’s a particularly useful exercise that Lisa takes us through when times really get rough!

How to Be a Rockstar Podcast Guest

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Photo by Skitterphoto on Pexels.com

How to Be a Stellar Podcast Guest

Podcasting is the new frontier in marketing and business communication. Everyone seems to have one or want to be a guest on one. Now, it’s more important than ever to know how to hone your message so that it lands well with your desired audience. Sharing your ideas effectively is simple enough, but it helps to keep a few key elements in mind.  I’d like to share a simple six-step framework I’ve learned from my own journey as a podcast host and coach, to help you do just that.

I’ve had the pleasure to experience the world of podcasting first-hand though my role as an online coach/mentor for Seth Godin’s The Podcast Fellowshipand through the creation of my own podcast, KindSight 101, a podcast where you’ll hear from world renowned educational leaders about the mobilizing power of kindness.

Alongside a handful of other incredible coaches, I’ve had the honour of mentoring hundreds of people through the process of creating a podcast that aligns with their brand, message, and the change they wish to make in the world. Since my introduction to podcasting in 2018 as a novice, I’ve had many people ask for advice about becoming a better podcast interviewee. I’d like to share 6 tips I’ve learned that will guide your success and excellence in communicating your message even more effectively as a podcast guest.

6 tips for being a stellar podcast guest:

  1. Singular Message:Think about your central theme or message. Can you sum it up in a sentence or less? It’s helpful to first think of your ideal audience? Can you describe an avatar that represents the ideal customer or listener?  What is your product or message for? What problem are you seeking to solve with your work? If you can answer those questions eloquently and clearly, it’s likely people will sit up and take notice.

 

  1. Stories:People learn and connect to one another through narrative. Warren Buffet once said, in his annual letter to shareholders, that leadership lies in the ability to tell a good story. The best podcast guests I’ve had respond to questions by telling a story first, then zooming back out to the learning or actionable strategy. Have a few stories “in the bank” that relate to several subtopics connected to your overarching theme and story of origin. Telling a narrative makes the idea stickier and connects people more readily to your message by engaging their emotions. People are emotional beings. It is emotion that often causes people to act. If you can tell a story that motivates people to take meaningful action (buying your product, visiting your website, starting a new habit), you’ve won!

 

 

  1. Strategies:Have a few actionable tips related to your big idea. Often, I find that giving people a three-step system, approach, or set of guiding questions can help anchor your idea to a corresponding action. You don’t simply want to inspire people, you want to transform their lives. They can only do that if you leave them with a roadmap or some instruction about what to do once they’re inspired.

 

  1. Sales:Understand the difference between self-promotion and value creation: For some people the idea of selling one’s products or brand feels like a shameful and uncomfortable endeavour. Every successful guest I’ve spoken to believes so deeply that their message or idea will improve the lives of the audience that they confidently approach the interview from the perspective that it’s their moral imperative to shine light on it. The result? More people feel compelled to buy the book, subscribe to their blog, purchase their merch or buy their course.

 

  1. Statistics:Statistics are a helpful way to reinforce the science and rationale behind your concept. It’s a tricky balance. Stats, if overused, can put people to sleep, but harnessed properly can wake them up to a shocking reality or paint a picture worth remarking. Keep a few basic statistics in the bank related to your central theme, but always make stats come alive by comparing them to something tangible.

 

  1. Summarize: Don’t forget to summarize your main points a second time. When we are listening to audio, it sometimes takes a few repeats to let an idea sink in. According to the book How to Give a TED talk by Jeremy Donovan, people need to hear a central message approximately three times before it anchors in their minds. Having a 2-4-word mantra that summarizes the concept, helps with the stickiness of the idea. For example, in my speaking, I often tell stories that come back to my central philosophy of “small act, big impact.”

 

 

The podcasting genre has become a favourite medium for entrepreneurs, thought-leaders, and dreamers to make their mark on the world by spreading their message and networking synergistically with like-minds. These days, anyone with a message, niche market, or obscure set of skills can share their expertise through audio. Unlike YouTube, podcasting lends itself to our current multi-tasking culture. You can listen while you run. You can listen while you do menial household tasks. You can listen and transform the experience of the once-soul-crushing commute.

 

At the last check in June 2019, there were approximately 750,000 podcasts in existence (up from 26 percent since 2018).  That number continues to grow exponentially as there are approximately 547 new podcast shows launched every day! Compared to the 25 million YouTube channels that exist, podcasting is still relatively under-developed and presents some significant opportunities for growth. According to a recent Apple survey, approximately only one in two Americans has listened to a podcast, so this number is sure to grow in the coming years.

 

With the growing number of enthusiastic podcast listeners, being a podcast guest is a great way to share your ideas, sell your product, promote your book, and uphold your company’s brand.

 

E: 70 Kindness Ninjas (With Allie Apels)

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https://itunes.apple.com/ca/podcast/kindsight-101/id1412489005?mt=2

Kindness has the power to change even the toughest class!

Allie Apels is a mother of two, a wife, kindergarten teacher, and Sensei to her KINDergarten Kindness Ninjas based out of Airdrie Alberta, Canada.

She is passionate about empowering her little ninjas to become kind, contributing citizens, and change makers. With their red headbands, stealth, and sneaky skills; they’re encouraged to engage in random acts of kindness (aka. missions) and good deeds within their home, school, community, and World.

Most importantly, she focuses on teaching them how to spread kindness to themselves through mindfulness. They share their heart-warming stories with the World, in hopes to inspire others to join their movement. You can get more information on her website http://www.kindnessninjasrvs.com/, follow her on Instagram @joysofkinder or on twitter JoysofKinder @MrsApelsKinder .

Check out this video, too!

Byron Katie and Oprah’s Supersoul Conversations

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I was recently listening to Oprah Winfrey’s Supersoul Conversations Podcast (which is amazing, BTW) and stumbled upon a conversation with Byron Katie about a really fascinating way that we can elongate the space between stimulus and response (a Viktor Frankel reference about the way that we can have more ownership and agency over the way we react to the challenges that life hands us).

She has a great 4-question framework that has done wonders in terms of re-thinking the worst-case scenario narratives that often start ramping up when things go sideways. I wanted to share them with YOU!

Imagine you’ve made plans with someone and you just can’t seem to get ahold of them. Perhaps, you start thinking that they are trying to avoid you or, worse, you think that something terrible has happened to them. Whatever your thought cycle, here’s a framework that can help you to dig yourself out:

  1. Is it true? Can I absolutely know that this is TRUTH? This is likely a story I am telling myself about what might have happened. 
  2. How can I check that this is true? I could call. I could think back to past behaviours to see what might be in line with who this person usually is. 
  3. How do I react when I believe this to be true? Unkind? Vengeful? Tearful? Guilty? Mind attack? Certainty-seeking? Imagining the worst?
  4. Who would you be without that thought? Peaceful. Trusting. Worthy. Enough. Faith-filled. 

E 69 – Everything is Figure-Outable (With Dan Buchner)

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https://itunes.apple.com/ca/podcast/kindsight-101/id1412489005?mt=2

Dan Buchner is an award winning designer, entrepreneur, educator, and leadership facilitator and the ceo of Praktikel.

He designed and delivered custom Innovation Leadership programs for leading organizations such as Baxter Healthcare, Eaton Corporation, McDonalds, General Motors and Robert Woods Johnson Foundation. Dan is a sought-after international keynote speaker and facilitator on innovation practices and organizational strategies. Thousands of people around the world have had their thinking shifted and been inspired to action by his practical perspective on innovation, leadership and organizational change.

I wanted to have Dan Buchner onto KindSight 101 to talk about the ways that innovation, leadership and learning interconnect within this global world and the ways that edcuators can foster environments that encourage creative thinking vs. compliance.

Everything is figureoutable.

In this episode, you’ll learn the step-by-step formula for figuring anything out. You’ll learn the one thing that every student needs for success in the real world and how you can be the one to help them acquire it.

– You’ll learn how to balance the need for organization and the drive for creativity.

– You’ll learn how balancing the need for creativity is like balancing your investment portfolio.

– You’ll learn the most important skill and trait a teacher needs to have to be effective.

What an inspiration!

Leadership Pitfalls: The Recognition Gap

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Good leadership can be easy to spot, but deconstructing it can be so challenging. Over the course of the past year or so, through the interviews I’ve done with truly remarkable world-class educators and leaders, I’ve learned that so much of great leadership comes from trust and the deep, intentional practice of gratitude. Nothing makes you feel smaller than a leader who doesn’t see you. When you feel insignificant, or at least your efforts do, nothing is less motivating. In fact, it’s been proven that an ambivalent leader can be as damaging to his/her employees as an outwardly ineffective leader who puts his/her employees down.

I recently learned about the recognition gap, which applies as much to organizational leaders as bosses and managers, as it does to teachers in the classroom or parents in homes.

It turns out that 80% of supervisors claim that they frequently demonstrate outward appreciation for their subordinates, while only 20% of employees report that their supervisors express appreciation more than occasionally.

So, knowing that there is a gap in perception, it’s important that leaders, teachers, and parents find meaningful ways to see and appreciate the people they serve so that these individuals feel motivated, valued, and believe that their work matters.

Here are a handful of easy ways to do this at work:

-Start a Shout-Out Board to encourage employees to recognize one another’s efforts.

-Every day, focus on one employee or student and celebrate something about them in person or in writing.

-When someone goes above and beyond for the organization (picture that student who volunteers to stack chairs at the end of the day, your child who cleans her room without prompting, or the employee who contributes meaningfully at a faculty meeting), go out of your way to show them you see and appreciate their efforts.

-Call someone and tell them specifically what they mean to you.

-Write a quick post-it for 3-5 staff members or students every day specifically thanking them for the way they contribute to the climate in your class or school.

These little things don’t seem like a huge effort on your part, but they sure go a long way in building trust, rapport, and positive morale.

E 68 – Self-Care through Visual Storytelling (With Deborah LeFrank)

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https://itunes.apple.com/ca/podcast/kindsight-101/id1412489005?mt=2

Deborah Le Frank believes that inside every person – is a collection of stories and memories. Her job is to draw them out of her clients creating a visually engaging Visual Life Story that is deeply meaningful and creates a legacy and connection between generations.

With the recent popularity of sketchnoting in schools, I wanted to have her on the show to talk about the different ways that we can use visuals to tell a compelling story about ourselves and our students. We learn the three life lessons that can help us live a fuller life and to help our students to do the same for themselves.

– We learn the significant moment in Deborah’s life that made her change the way she looked at the way we create and hang on to our memories.
– Some practical ways to invite sketch-noting into our lives.
– Compelling reasons to record a story from your life every month!
– The power of sketch-noting as a method to enable learners to capture their connections and realizations in a more full way.

You can find out more about her at [Visual Life Stories][1]
[1]: http://visuallifestories.com

Summer 2019 KindSight 101 Booklist

book-stackSummertime and the living is easy…

Here we are, hopefully one step closer to relaxation than we were back in June. It occurred to me a while back that it would be fun to share a few of my favourite books about school, kids, kindness, and the human condition. I can’t promise that it’s all light reading, but I always love the aha’s I come away with when I read a good non-fiction book.

These books aren’t alphabetical…or even in any particular order of importance. I haven’t even gone through and curated the list or annotated the titles…but I have created a list of books that have changed my life (one paradigm at a time).

Hope you enjoy at least one of these titles during these beautiful summer months:

  • Simon Sinek, Leaders Eat Last
  • Simon Sinek, Start with Why
  • Bob Chapman, Everybody Matters
  • Elizabeth Gilbert, Big Magic
  • Stephen Pressfield, The War of Art
  • Seth Godin, The Dip
  • Seth Godin, Purple Cow
  • Seth Godin, Linchpin
  • Seth Godin, This is Marketing
  • Glennon Doyle Melton, Love Warrior
  • Dr. Brene Brown, Rising Strong
  • Dr. Brene Brown, Gifts of Imperfection
  • Dr. Brene Brown, Braving the Wilderness
  • Dr. Brene Brown, Dare to Lead
  • Dan and Chip Heath, The Power of Moments
  • Dan and Chip Heath, Ideas that Stick
  • Trevor Mckenzie, Dive into Inquiry
  • Trevor Mckenzie and Rebecca Bathurst-Hunt, Inquiry Mindset
  • Dan Pink, When
  • Dan Pink, Drive
  • Dan Pink, A Whole New Mind
  • Tim Ferriss, Tools of Titans
  • Tim Ferriss, 4 Hour Work Week
  • Susan Cain, Quiet
  • Dr. Jody Carrington, Kids These Days
  • Tamara Letter, Passion for Kindness
  • George Couros, Innovator’s Mindset
  • Teach Like a Pirate, Dave Burgess
  • Principal Baruti Kafele, Closing the Attitude Gap
  • Shawn Achor, The Happiness Advantage
  • Dr. Shimi Kang, The Dolphin Way
  • Dr. Adam Grant, Give and Take
  • Dr. Adam Grant and Sheryl Sandberg, Option B
  • Dr. Adam Grant, Originals
  • Sheryl Sandberg, Lean-In
  • Malcolm Gladwell, The Tipping Point
  • Malcolm Gladwell, David and Goliath
  • Malcolm Gladwell, Outliers
  • Dr. Ross Greene, Lost at School
  • Dr. Ross Greene, The Explosive Child

 

E 67 – How to be a Connection Ninja (With David Knapp-Fisher)

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How do you make authentic connections with people?

How can we teach kids to do the same?

What are some of the keys that will enable students to be successful in the uncertain future world they face?

https://itunes.apple.com/ca/podcast/kindsight-101/id1412489005?mt=2

I want to introduce you to my friend, David Knapp-Fisher, a connection ninja, speaker, author, world-traveller, and speaking coach.

In this episode, we talk about his journey as an advocate for his son living through muscular dystrophy, what it takes to set and achieve audacious goals, how self-education is the key to the future, the importance of service and gratitude in helping you get where you want, and the four steps to creating lasting connections with the people you serve.

We’ll talk about simple ways you can improve your (and your student’s) speaking through an easy formula.

We talk about the following game-changing books and authors:

– Tim Ferriss (Tools of Titans, 4 Hour Work Week)
– Richard Branson
– Tony Robbins
– Marc Marron
– Thoreau (Waldon)
– Mike Vardy
– Janelle Morrison
– Chris Gillebeau
– Jerry Lewis
– Jim Rohn

Can’t wait to hear your takeaways from this action-packed podcast.

Check out his TED talk here: https://youtu.be/t186tlhjvMk

Check out his website here: http://davidknappfisher.com

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