Marble-Jar Trust (Brené Brown)

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Photo by Skitterphoto on Pexels.com

When starting up the year, I often refer to Dr. Brené Brown’s brilliant concept of the Marble Jar. Imagine that the trust in each of the relationships in your life is represented by a marble jar. At it’s core, Brené (yes, like most humans my age, I would like to imagine that we are on a first-name basis), explains that trust is built in the micro-moments, the seemingly insignificant moments of interaction. 

Relationships are build on trust. We can deposit marbles and build up our sense of trust or withdraw them and degrade that sense of trust through our interactions. When someone is able to make more deposits than withdrawals, generally, we trust them.

Trust can be deposited through:

  • asking for help,
  • receiving the generosity of others,
  • giving without recompense,
  • contributing constructive and helpful feedback,
  • designating and maintaining clear boundaries,
  • being capable and reliable,
  • owning your sh*t, being a vault,
  • choosing courage over comfort,
  • practicing non-judgement,
  • standing up for someone through integrity
  • and creating a generous narrative about others

She also makes a note about not confusing real trust for counterfeit trust. Real trust isn’t always easy to build. Integrity is a big part of creating a sense of trust. Being a chameleon, someone who changes depending on the surrounding political and social environment does not elicit a sense of trust from people. Gossiping is the worst kind of counterfeit trust, because as much as it hot-wires fake connection, it erodes the deep sense of trust within a relationship (and can often ripple outward to the climate at work or school).

#smallactbigimpact #kindsight101

 

 

Commit or Quit?

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There are four statements that super-entrepreneurs, Chase Jarvis and Chris Guillibeau suggest you should consider before you commit or quit a current endeavour. Quite often, we’re scared of quitting…of being branded as non-committal, of giving up before the getting is good.
It turns out that quitting is important. Our resources (time, money, attention) are often finite, so the more we engage with, the more fractured our capabilities become.
So, think about your current endeavour in relation to these 4 statements. It’s kind of like choose your own adventure…
You love it and it’s working.
  • Best case scenario…keep going!
You hate it and it’s working. 
  • This can be tricky. Ask yourself what can be changed about either your expectations or how you can bring more joy into your current endeavour. Even if something makes you a lot of money, it may not always make for a happy and fulfilled life.
You love it and it’s not working.
  • How can you find a way to serve the audience better or how can you reconcile what isn’t working with the fact that you love this endeavour as a hobby? Sometimes, it can be as easy as rebranding what we thought we were hoping to achieve. If it’s just a hobby…it really doesn’t owe you anything.
You hate it and it’s not working.
  • This seems pretty clear, right? Find something else ASAP and ditch the gig.

*”working” can mean making money, making impact, or enabling you to have more freedom

Ep. 90: The Dope Educator (With David Jay)

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https://itunes.apple.com/ca/podcast/kindsight-101/id1412489005?mt=2

Featured on Access Hollywood | Instagram @thedopeeducator | I inspire | Educator | Speaker |

This teacher has found a way to get his fifth graders pumped up for learning: He challenges them to create their own handshakes.

David Jamison, a language arts teacher at Hickory Ridge Elementary School in Memphis, Tennessee, memorized the individual greetings from each of the 75 students he teaches.

Classes are separated into groups of three and Jamison greets every student with their unique handshakes

“It increases that bond with the students,” he told “Good Morning America.” “When you have that kind of relationship with a kid, they don’t want to let you down because they know you love and care for them.”

Shelby County Schools shared a video of the handshakes on Twitter, where its been viewed 20,000 times.

“I was overwhelmed,” Jamison said of the viral attention. “That was the key to spread more positivity.”

Jamison, a father of one, said it’s his third year teaching and he’s done the handshakes each year.

It takes Jamison about a minute to do the handshakes with each group. It’s followed by “Do Now” classwork, where the kids get right to work practicing a lesson they learned the day prior.

The one with the most innovative handshake wins a prize from Jamison. This term’s winner will be announced next week, he said.

 

Follow him on Instagram at @thedopeeducator

 

 

Not Today Corrrrrrrona! (With Dr. Jody Carrington)

 

CarringtonJody_18_428-768x1152Dr. Jody Carrington (child psychologist and author of Kids These Days) talks to me about the Corona Virus pandemic and what we can do to get a grip during this uncertain rollercoaster ride.

Listen as she outlines how we can:

-navigate the topsy turvy disruption in routine and the world as we know it
-create the illusion of proximity through remote connection (since we’re all wired and hungry for it)
-overcome the overwhelm and bring ourselves back to joy
-rise above the “chippiness” in our relationships… “now is not the time for a divorce!”
-engage in self-compassion practices that help us to avoid comparison and self-judgement

We are all just walking each other home. As long as we’re ok, the kids will be ok.

Keep your eyes open for the educator follow up to Kids These Days this fall, as Dr. Jody Carrington teams up with the amazing Laurie McIntosh when they release their new book

OFFICIAL BIO

Over the past 15 years, Dr. Jody Carrington has assessed, treated, educated and empowered some of our most vulnerable and precious souls on the planet. She is a child psychologist by trade, but Jody rarely treats kids. The answer lies, she believes, in the people who hold them. Especially when kids have experienced trauma, that’s when they need big people the most. Some of her favourites include educators, parents, first responders, and foster parents. Jody has shifted the way they think and feel about the holy work that they do.

Before Jody started her own practice and speaking across the country, she worked at the Alberta Children’s Hospital on the inpatient and day treatment units where she held families with some of the difficult stories. They taught her the most important lesson: we are wired to do hard things. We can handle those hard things so much easier when we remember this: we are wired for connection.

This all started when Jody received her Bachelor of Arts with Distinction from the University of Alberta. She completed a year-long internship with the Royal Canadian Mounted Police during that time, and worked along side families struggling with chronic illness at the Ronald McDonald House. She received her Master’s degree in Psychology at the University of Regina and completed her PhD there as well, before completing her residency in Nova Scotia.

Her first book, Kids These Days: A Game Plan for (Re)Connecting with those we Teach, Lead & Love, came out in 2019 and sold 20,000 copies in just three months. It is now on Amazon’s Best Sellers List.

 

Yes or No? The Surprising No-Fail Decision Metric from Marie Forleo

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The amazing entrepreneur, podcast queen, and super-star self-development personality, Marie Forleo just came out with the terrific new book, Everything is Figure-outable. Back in the fall of 2019, she broke down the steps on getting your compass straight with Chase Jarvis on his podcast show:

  1. Ask yourself: “When I think about doing this project or saying yes to this opportunity, do I feel expansive or contracted?”
  2. Moving your body helps to get clear about your feelings too. There is infinite wisdom in your body and it will show you how you feel if you tune-in, so pay close attention. Go for a walk or a run and continue asking yourself until you get clear.
  3. If you feel deep down that the opportunity feels constricting… don’t do it. If the nervousness is still present, but you feel like the situation will feel like an expansion… go for it!
  4. Expansive is exciting. The contraction feels like a pit, the sinking feeling… trust the little voice.
Trust your innermost wisdom. You know in your heart what to do. No one knows what’s right for you more than you do. Don’t ask for advice. Listen to that intuition.
#smallactbigimpact #kindsight101 #intuition #fear #decisions #podcast #teachersofinstagram #education #business

 

Am I a Storyteller?

It was in Grade Two when I first had the audacity to create an after-school writing club with a handful of friends.
Audacious, because my teacher believed that although I showed hints of “potential,” my story craft was evidently pretty weak.
Every week or so after the final bell rang, my little crew and I would race onto the bus, walk the 1/2 mile of gravel road to my front door, plunk ourselves down at my kitchen table, and we’d begin.
I think in hindsight that the others came for the snacks. I bumbled through that year with the unwavering belief that I was a storyteller.
Soon, with advent of a few strong personalities and notable events in my life, that belief transformed into doubt. I began curating my contributions and took on the role of observer.
The truth is that until recently, I’ve rushed to the punch-line, unable to own my slice of the limelight.
Not long after my children were born, I tuned back into the little whispers and the deep restlessness I felt.
I began writing.
It wasn’t “good” but it was my voice. Clarity and passions emerged… ideas… interests.
My joyful observation and curiosity then pushed me to start a podcast.
I am honoured to listen to the stories of countless people and delight in connecting them to my own, to the narrative of common humanity that runs through all of us.
Now, I have been delighting in creating workshops for educators around creating belonging, and I understand the engaging power of story.
I am have stepped back into the belief that I am a storyteller.
How about you?
I’d love to hear your story of how some of this content has changed your viewpoint.
#kindsight101 #smallactbigimpact #teachers

 

Ep. 89: Creating Calm in the Covid-19 Chaos (with Stefanie Szewczyk)

Let’s face it. The world as we know it has changed for the foreseeable future. Schools are closed. Essential services are the only businesses allowed to function. Covid-19 has ravaged much of Asia, Europe, and has made its way into the cities of North America.

As parents, business leaders, and teachers, we have been left scrambling to bring some sense of calm into the chaos. Many of us have had to face the new reality of online remote learning, while balancing the needs of our own children and job responsibilities.

Today, I speak with Stefanie Szewczyk, a fellow mom, virtual assistant, and project manager about the realities of working from home, how to schedule your day for optimal productivity, how to be kind to yourself in the process, and learning how to give your children what they need in this difficult time.

Please enjoy our conversation, as we attempt to bring calm to the chaos.

 

https://itunes.apple.com/ca/podcast/kindsight-101/id1412489005?mt=2

Ep. 88: Girl in the Garage (With Sharon Hughes)

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https://itunes.apple.com/ca/podcast/kindsight-101/id1412489005?mt=2

Sharon and I discuss how to overcome perfectionism, how to set realistic goals, how to overcome the tough stuff in your life, and how to support those going through difficult challenges.
Hope you enjoy!

What you believe about yourself dictates everything about your life; your success level, your perceived failures, and your quality of life.

Are you struggling with perfectionism, people pleasing, and believing you’re not enough? Do you feel like a failure despite your successes? Do you have a video playing over and over in your head of something that broke your heart? Are you living in shame of your shortcomings? Are you stuck in unhealthy relationships?

Do any of these sound familiar?

WHAT IF YOU COULD…

  • Let go of the past, so that you can heal and move forward?
  • Accept your uniqueness, so that you feel more confident?
  • Learn to make decisions based on your core values, so that you trust yourself?
  • Set healthy boundaries, so that you have relationships that feel good?
  • Forgive yourself for your past mistakes, so that you can love yourself?

HOW WE’LL WORK TOGETHER & COURSE DETAILS

 

In this 8 week course I’ll personally walk you through each step. This is a live, private coaching program.

  • Week 1 – We identify what’s got you stuck. We “clean out” your purse from the junk you’ve been holding onto. (the lies)
  • Week 2 – You decide who you’ll be when you let go of the past and create a new vision for yourself.
  • Week 3 – We talk about your thoughts, triggers and managing your emotions.
  • Week 4 – Define your values and deal breakers.
  • Week 5 – How to create confidence and feel good in your skin
  • Week 6 – How to practice self grace
  • Week 7 – We focus on your purpose and unique gifts
  • Week 8 – We put it all together and choose what you want in your purse!From the desk of Sharon Hughes’ :

“I understand first hand how hard it is to break unhealthy mindset patterns and to believe you deserve more.

I suffered through years of silence, hiding the shame of what I’d been through, until I realized I didn’t have to believe the lies anymore and that I deserved to be free, happy and loved.

Identity coaching is about helping you uncover what you believe about yourself and taking steps to stay in truth, while letting go of lies.

Some of the things I went through are; an abusive past that included physical/emotional abuse, abandonment, homelessness, parental abduction and date rape. Yeah, it’s a lot…but I made it through these dark times and so can you.”

I’m a certified Life Coach and certified in Critical Incident Stress Debriefing/Management.

You don’t have to struggle anymore, there’s help and there’s hope.

 

Listen ~ Silent

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Listening starts with silencing yourself, quieting the desire to respond,
and truly leaning-in with the intention of developing a deeper understanding.

It turns out WORDS and SWORD also share the same letters.
Think on that for a minute.

#smallactbigimpact #kindsight101 #beimpeccablewithyourword #wordsmatter #silent #listen #empathy #kindness #understanding

Ep. 87: Creative on Purpose (With Scott Perry)

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Scott Perry is the ceo of Creative on Purpose, which helps people like you see and step into possibility in endeavors that make a difference. I met him as a coach on Seth Godin’s Akimbo workshops and was struck by his generosity, work ethic, and ability to connect authentically.
Scott believes that making things better requires leaning into challenges with curiosity, commitment, courage, and collaboration. In our conversation, we explore the notion that everyone has access to their own creativity, that we are better together, and that great learning isn’t exclusive to the classroom. You can find his books, courses and work by typing Creative on Purpose in google.
https://itunes.apple.com/ca/podcast/kindsight-101/id1412489005?mt=2